


Don't Speak

by LylaRivers



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Breakup Fic, F/M, M/M, Song fic, pining!Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:52:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2297216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LylaRivers/pseuds/LylaRivers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post STID.  Spock waits for Jim to wake up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Speak

**Author's Note:**

> The song used here is "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. It's utterly beautiful, and you should all listen to it and cry with me about Spirk.  
> This could be seen as a prequel to "Time Lord Physics Were Inwented In Russia", but it doesn't need to be. It's the Spock/Uhura breakup scene that was sort of alluded to in "Time Lord Physics Were Inwented In Russia", but there are a few things that might not match up.  
> Either way... here it is!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Due to copyright issues, the lyrics are removed. Sorry. :( Just go listen to the song.

I can't stop myself from pacing around sickbay. Every rational, logical instinct in my body says Jim will be fine - even Doctor McCoy's normally pessimistic view is positive. But it all fails to stop my worries.

"Spock." A female voice says. I turn to face the voice and find myself staring at Nyota. I do not speak - I have nothing to say. I can not bring myself to form coherent thoughts, let alone words.

"Spock, please say something," Nyota begs after a long pause.

"What would you have me say?" I ask finally.

"Spock you've been sitting here watching Jim for a full day now. You can't keep doing this to yourself!"

How do I respond to a statement like that? I am unsure I can.

***

Nyota puts an arm on my unresponsive shoulder. "Please talk to me!"

But I am sucked into one of those horrific flashbacks. I thought they would only come as I dozed fitfully by Jim's bedside, but obviously I was wrong.

***

Helplessness. Fear. Sadness. Grief. Overwhelming anger. That final shift of Jim's fingers before they fall limp. A single tear I didn't know it was possible to shed rolls down my cheek.

KHAAAAAAAAAAN!

"Spock!" Nyota says, rather sharply.

I cannot bring myself to look at her. "My apologies."

"You're too in love with him to see anything else, aren't you?" Nyota accuses. "You didn't respond when your planet was destroyed, when your mother died, or even when you were going to fry in that volcano. But when your precious Captain dies? Suddenly, you're Mr. Emotional! Well, I'm done. Go pursue your Captain - if you're even brave and emotional enough to say anything."

I open my mouth to say something - but I realize I have nothing to say.

Her gaze softens. "Look. No hard feelings, ok? But I can't live with this. Just... the way you look at him. Neither of us is getting what we want out of this. I want someone who's not afraid to tell me he loves me. And as for you? I'm just not... him." She stares at me, long and hard. "It was fun while it lasted.  Goodbye, Spock," she whispers, walking out.

***

I sink into the chair beside Jim's bed, and lean my head in my hands. "Please wake up, Jim," I whisper, mostly to myself.

***

I can't stop myself. I touch Jim's limp hand gently, and my whole body feels like it's been set on fire. His hand is soft, but so very cold. If I could simply wake him up with a kiss, I would - and he would be awake now.

"Please. Please wake up Jim," I whisper again. There are no other words for this unexpected pain. I have no more words for my silent, sleeping Captain. All that is left now is pain and fear... and that emotion I find myself still leaving unnamed.... love.

When I finally see Jim's eyelids flutter, I alert Doctor McCoy, and silently sneak out of sickbay.

*************


End file.
